Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
