How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
soo... how was my night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
