I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
