Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
