So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I had to cum in my sink.
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