I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
