My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
pray to the hookup gods
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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