I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
