omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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