Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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