I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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