if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
