im gay
i know
yea but for you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
