I have demons in me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
