"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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