question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
