So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
