wat bout pragnant strippers??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
