well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
