So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
