i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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