So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
