I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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