he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
