We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
