dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
