it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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