The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
