I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
