I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
