My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
