I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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