I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
