i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
