I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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