Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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