these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
