Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
