could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
