As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
