Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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