Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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