so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
