Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
