Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My pussy is not your playground.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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