I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
