woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
