That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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