My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
