i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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