I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't think brook has ever known best
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
