He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
