Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
