Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
